Love is complicated, and sometimes it isn’t enough to make people stay together. You can love someone with all your heart, but it doesn’t mean that it’s they’re the right person for you or the situation is ideal. You can lose relationships even when you both love each other very much.
What if the one you love isn’t there anymore by your side? When you first became a couple, you were inseparable. You sent texts every chance you got, and you must have told each other how you felt at least ten times a day.
However, life and circumstances get in the way. It doesn’t mean your love has changed, but the newness of your union has worn off. There are no more random trips out of town just so you can be alone, as your work schedule doesn’t permit such things.
You Must Nourish Love
You’ve stopped sending flowers just because she’s had a bad day, or perhaps you’ve stopped giving him cards to tell him how you genuinely feel. Once you’ve been together for any length of time, you settle into a pattern of predictability. Why do you think so many people need to reinvent their relationships from time to time?
The issue is that you will lose the one you love if you don’t wake up and realize that having a relationship takes work. Assume you bought a plant from the nursery for your home. What would happen to that plant if you didn’t water it when it gets dry?
It wouldn’t take long before the plant would wither up and die.
The good news is that many plants can be salvaged and brought back to life even in a decaying state of drought. The same can be said about your relationships. Even though things may appear to be beyond the point of return, there is always hope if there is a little life left.
Top Ten Reasons Why People Lose Relationships
Do you ever wonder why people lose relationships, even when they started so sizzling hot? What causes the flame of love to fade on a couple who still has feelings for one another, but they have become drowned by the cares of life. Here are the top reasons why people drift away from one another.
1. Communication Dies
Communication is an essential part of any relationship. While you can’t wait to talk to your partner initially, you may find that it’s not so easy to talk as things go on. If you don’t converse with one another, how will you know what you’re thinking, feeling, or going through in life?
One of the biggest reasons people lose one another is that they stop communicating, and it builds walls around their hearts. It also leaves the door wide open for speculation and their lover’s mind to go wild with why you’re no longer communicating with them.
2. Priorities Are Off Balance
People have time for what they want to do in life. In the first days of your relationship, you would stay up all night long talking on the phone or texting. Do you remember dragging into work the following day because you had little sleep from all the activities the night before?
When the newness begins to wear off, you know that sleep is more important than impressing someone who already loves you. The sad part is it’s easy to let job responsibilities, exhaustion, and other issues get in the way of the time you spend with your lover. Remember, if he or she is a priority in your life, then you can and will make time for them.
3. Taking One Another For Granted
When’s the last time you complimented her on her beautiful hair? When’s the last time you told him how much you love his cologne? It’s important to say those things to one another when you’re trying to solidify the relationship, but it’s easy not to feel the need to say such things once you capture their heart.
It doesn’t matter if you’ve been together two months or twenty years; it’s your responsibility to make the other person feel needed and wanted. Many people lose relationships because they don’t tell their partner the things they long to hear, and they find someone else who is more than eager to say such things to them.
4. Low Self-Esteem
Many times, the reason why people don’t stay together has nothing to do with anything you’re doing wrong, but the issue is that you don’t feel like you measure up. If you have low self-esteem, you may think that you don’t measure up to your partner’s expectations. You may fear intimacy and want to shy away from any romance because you’re afraid you’re not good enough.
It’s important to talk about esteem issues and let the other person know what you’re feeling. They can help you talk through some of these matters and reassure you that your thoughts are not their views.
5. Financial Troubles
When you take the step to get married or move in together, you may struggle with finances. The New York Post referenced research conducted by the Austin Institute for The Study of Family and Culture. The focus was using data from over 4,000 people who filed for divorce.
They wanted to uncover the most common reasons why marriage doesn’t always work. They found that one of the most prevalent reasons for couples to split is financial issues. Whether you’re not making enough money or the other party is spending it like you’re printing it in the basement, financial problems can take a significant toll on a union.
If your partner isn’t your top priority, you’re leaving the door wide open for someone else to come into your heart. When you don’t communicate properly and lack the connection you once had, you’re setting yourself up for some real issues. Infidelity doesn’t mean that you don’t love the one you’re with; it simply means that there is something wrong in your relationship that you’re not addressing.
Dr. Joel Block is a psychologist at Hofstra Northwell School of Medicine, and he helped collaborate an article on their blog. He states that an affair is a mental exit strategy to a relationship that’s in trouble. After his many years of counseling, he sees cheating as a sign that one party wants out.
7. Ignoring One Another’s Needs
Every person alive has needs that are emotional and physical. When you’re not meeting those needs, then it’s one way you can lose relationships. Your partner needs you to be intimate with them as it’s one way to show love.
Additionally, they need you to hold them when they cry, be there when their world is crashing down, and support them. When you stop caring about the other person’s needs, or you put your needs ahead of theirs, it’s a recipe for disaster.
8. Commitment Issues
Love and commitment are two vastly different things. If there’s something in either one of your pasts that makes you suspicious of commitment. Indeed, it can be rough to make it long-term.
When a cheating partner hurts you or you watched your parents go through a painful divorce, it’s easy to fear commitment. However, the other party may not be willing to remain in the friend zone for long.
The only thing worse than someone not telling you what’s going on in their life is the person who lies about it. Have you ever been in a relationship with someone less than honest? Trust is one of the foundational building blocks of a partnership, and if you can’t trust each other, your relationship won’t last.
10. Sexual Incompatibility
Each person has a sex drive that is dictated by the hormones in their body. If one person has a higher drive than the other, it can cause some real issues. One party may desire to be together multiple times in a week, while the other person is satisfied just a couple of times a month.
It’s essential that even though you might not have the same drive for sex, you always consider the other person’s needs. You can quickly lose relationships if the person feels that their needs are going unmet.
Final Thoughts on Losing Relationships Even When You’re In Love
A famous songwriter once said that love is a battlefield, and this statement is absolute truth. Many folks don’t get into committed relationships because they know they take a lot of work to make things good. Even if you have a great partnership with your spouse, it didn’t just happen that way.
It would help if you always considered the needs of your spouse as well as their desires too. Communicate with them and always be honest about your feelings. If finances are an issue, then work through them so that they don’t destroy your union.
If you don’t want to lose relationships, you must be willing to give yourself completely to someone you love.