Guest Blog by BNS Sreeja
I study human behavior and I would love to
share an encounter I had in recent times which provoked the purpose of this
piece. It was a typical day and I was speaking to someone close and we had
gotten into a disagreement and while we wrangled, halfway through the argument
it just got worse as none of us would drop it or compromise. I wouldn’t get
into the issue, but it wasn’t the first time we were arguing about it. After a
lot of screaming and hollering, we finally decided to call it off though it
wasn’t fixed and deep down we both knew it would come up again in some days.
This made me ponder on the reasons why were we fighting and what causes a fight
in general. And so I started thinking it about what someone should do if they
were in a similar position. So, I narrowed it down to THREE things:
· HEED TO
REGISTER, NOT TO DEFEND!!
Every person has a faction, listen to it, to
concede and end the dispute and not to create a rebuttal for the unnecessary
debate. LISTEN TO THE PERSON’S TRUTH and tell them yours.
COUNT SOME NUMBERS/ SING A SONG/MEDITATE
I was trying to build a rhyming scheme but
yes, all of the souls reading this would have seen this in a lot of books,
anecdotes, and believe it or not it is true. When you are not calm you become
irrational and anger dominates your thoughts and forces you to speak and do
something you do not intend. Hence for efficiently ending an argument keeping
your calm is THE passkey. You can have your own mechanism to calm yourself down.
· TALK THINGS
Communication is very important between two
people and it takes time and effort but always try to talk things out because
if you leave the person wondering or without an answer it might hurt them, (
DISCLAIMER: YOU DO NOT HAVE TO FORGIVE THEM IF THEY DID SOMETHING WRONG), so if
you think they can be forgiven and intend to keep them around letting them know
how hurt you are and telling them what you expect them to do saves a lot of
time and energy and you could use the adrenaline for the better.
So this is all I have to bestow for now but
eternally remember: When it is someone close you are quarreling with AND it
is something petty LET IT GO, BECAUSE letting your pride go is
better than letting the person go”
I conclude this here on a positive note.
Do you feel positive? I DO.
BNS Sreeja can be reached on [email protected]