By Vrunda Chauk
Success requires persistence, the ability to not give up in the face of failure. I believe that optimistic explanatory style is the key to persistence.
When we think about Optimists we mostly think about those
who see the world through rose coloured glass. Those who always see rainbows
and sunshine even when there is clearly a muddy puddle in front of you. Optimism, or the one that we will be talking about now is
not unrealistic optimism (the misconception most people have). We will be
talking here about realistic optimism.
Let’s take an example – you lose your job. And you do not
have much work experience. Your qualifications too are not that great. The unrealistic
optimism here would be believing you will get an even better job in an even
better city. Without even exploring hard or taking into account why you were
removed in the first place.
Realistic Optimism here would be – Analyzing and accepting the situation. Understanding
why you were fired and what can you do to become better at your craft. And then
believing that it is not the end of the world and you can still get better
jobs. It is knowing that if you put in hard work and efforts with sincerity,
you will get what you deserve.
So we are speaking about this second type of optimism here. You
see optimists seem to have some superpowers that help them during difficulties.
They know from previous experiences that things do work out
fine. That gives them more reason to believe that good things do happen. Due to
this thinking – Optimists possess greater self-confidence and perseverance when
faced with challenges.
When optimists expect positive things to happen in future
despite the adverse situations in front of them. The hope, the belief that
things will get better not only puts them into a positive mood but also leads
to better coping strategies concerning stress. Lisa Aspinwall conducted
experiments and found that optimists are in fact true realists. She found that
optimists are more willing than pessimists to receive negative feedback about
their performance and to absorb bad news about their health and to raise
difficult issues in their personal relationships.
According to her research “Realistic Optimism is an
honest recognition that there may be opportunities for positive growth or
learning experience in even the most difficult situations.”
If we think about this logically makes complete sense
doesn’t it? Until and unless you truly believe that the future can be better
you are not likely to make efforts towards it.
“Pessimistic labels lead to passivity, whereas
optimistic ones lead to attempts to change”
By this time, you’re probably thinking “I wish I could
be more optimistic….”
Well, the good news is – You Can!
Here are four simple steps that will help you think
- When things do not go
according to plan, pay attention to your immediate thoughts. Are you
thinking – I can never do anything right?
- Try to dispute those
thoughts by searching for alternative evidence. Try to find out evidence
of your negative thoughts. Do NOT exaggerate. Think your friend is in the
similar situation and try to find positive facts to cheer her up
- Accept the negative
outcomes but think of their causes as temporary and external. “Oh,
you didn’t win the game, maybe it was because of the bad weather, you know
you’ll win next time.” Not blaming something else to get your way but
genuinely believing that this defeat was temporary, and you will do much
better next time.Try to think of causes of
positive outcomes as permanent and internal. “I won the game because of my
hard work”. You are not too self-centred or anything, just being honest.
The optimists and the pessimists: I have been studying them
for the past twenty-five years. The defining characteristic of pessimists is
that they tend to believe bad events will last a long time, will undermine
everything they do, and are their own fault. The optimists, who are confronted
with the same hard knocks of this world, think about misfortune in the opposite
way. They tend to believe defeat is just a temporary setback, that its causes
are confined to this one case. The optimists believe defeat is not their fault:
Circumstances, bad luck, or other people brought it about. Such people are
unfazed by defeat. Confronted by a bad situation, they perceive it as a
challenge and try harder.
Vrunda is a Positive Psychology Student, Researcher and a wannabe practitioner, based in Pune, India. She is reachable on [email protected]