Finding true happiness in Today’s world is not an easy feat. Everyone seems to have an opinion about your life and how you should live it, and it makes things impossible for you as you feel you must constantly prove yourself to others. Society engrains in your mind that you need to be like this person or act like that one, and it causes more misery than bliss.
Why do people feel that they need to prove themselves to their family members, spouses, coworkers, management, and everyone else in their daily life? Thankfully, you don’t need to prove yourself to anyone nor define your happiness by what others think of you.
Eight Reasons Why You Don’t Need to Prove Yourself
Now, when you stop living by the rules others have established for your life, it’s going to cause you some grief, as people don’t like resistance and opposition. However, whether it’s a comfortable journey or not doesn’t matter, as it’s your life. Here are a few reasons you don’t have to prove anything to anyone and how you can be a happier person when you stop trying to please others.
1. External Validation Doesn’t Define You
You may write a book, but the chances of you making the New York Times’s bestseller list are slim. You might be able to sing like a canary, but this doesn’t mean that you will be the next American Idol. Seeking validation from sources like this are not only flawed, but they’re superficial.
It doesn’t matter if you have world recognition or fame beyond your expectations. What truly counts is that you show kindness to those around you. You can have all the money and fame in the world, but if you can’t be charitable and help someone down and out, have you accomplished anything?
Your internal values are way more important. Finding success on your own and setting the terms for what that means is the best way to win in life.
2. All You Need to Do Is Give Your Best
You’re afraid of failure, and the thought of coming in second or third place doesn’t sit well with most folks. They want to win or want nothing at all. Students don’t want a “B” on their exam, as only an “A” will do.
Striving for the best is not a bad thing, but you can’t hold yourself to such a high standard that you can never measure up. Do you want to prove something to others or yourself? As long as you give all you’ve got, you have good reason to be proud.
3. You Know Your Limits
Why do people judge others based on society as a whole rather than their abilities? It’s very frustrating to lump everyone together in one big group and expect the same thing across the board. Do you ever get tired of hearing the word “normal?”
People often use this word to describe mental and physical health, as it’s the status they want to achieve. You can go through your whole life just trying to reach an ideal, but you won’t ever quite measure up in your mind. You know what you’re capable of doing and your limits, and trying to gauge your life based on the standards of others is only setting you up for defeat.
4. You Must Be Satisfied with Your Achievements
You know that there’s no way you will make everyone happy in this life, but you should at least strive for personal contentment. When you look back at the end of your month, day, or week, can you say that you gave it 100 percent and did the best you could? Or do you have regrets and wish that you did things differently?
You must be a cheerleader for yourself. While you need to maintain some modesty, you need to be proud of all the things you’ve accomplished. Sure, it might not mean anything to the person in the cubicle next to you that you bought your first home, but to you, it means the world.
That home shows dedication, hard work, and financial stability. Finding satisfaction in life is about giving it all you’ve got and being proud of your accomplishments.
5. What Matters to You Is What Counts
Your view of success comes from observing those around you. Even things like watching television put preconceived notions in your head about how life should be. Take, for instance, the fairy tales like Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty.
Most women wait for their Prince Charming to come riding in on a white horse and save them. When they find love, they will judge these relationships based on things engrained in their minds from these fables. These are just stories based on reality, so why do you measure your romance according to these tales?
If you want to find any happiness in this life, you will stop using public opinion to govern you. To find contentment, you must decide what matters to you and how you want to live. Even if you fall and make mistakes, they’re your mistakes to make.
You get to define what makes a person successful and set the standards for your life and don’t let anyone try to change your mind.
6. You’re in the Driver’s Seat
There’s nothing worse than getting unsolicited advice. While it happens to everyone, new mothers seem to get a lot of it. Why do relatives feel the need to tell a mom to parent their newborn?
This child grew inside their womb for nine months, and they have a special bond. Learning to care for this child will come naturally. This doesn’t just happen to parents, either. In fact, at other time times you will hear statements like these:
- “You need to find a new job because you’re just not making enough.”
- “Your family has grown so much that it’s time for you to get a new house.”
- “You’ll be happier if you dump that person and find someone more suitable.”
- “Isn’t it time to get a new car, as that one is getting pretty old?”
These people mean well, but they want you to take their advice as they know more about your life than you do. It puts you in an awkward position when you feel that you need to prove yourself to others in every aspect of life. You should learn a good comeback for these intrusive statements like, “Oh really, well, I like my job, house, car, and life just as it is.”
7. You Get to Define Happiness for You
What does happiness mean to you? It’s not going to be the same for your neighbor, friend, or relative. Happiness is a perception or a status that one defines within themselves.
A realtor might define happiness by how many houses they closed within the past month, while a teacher defines happiness by knowing her class grasped a problematic concept. The view of happiness is subjective, but you get to decide what it looks like for you.
When you learn what makes you happy, you will set those standards and live up to them. You’ll be a much happier person when you stop living according to what makes your coworker happy and focus on your contentment.
8. You’ll Never Please Everyone
Why is it that people are afraid of letting each other down? It’s impossible to please everyone, as someone is always going to be upset with your choices in life. One of the worst habits to get into is not knowing when to say no.
When you don’t set boundaries for yourself, you will wear down. When you overload your schedule, some things must fall by the wayside. Learning to stand up for yourself and saying no is imperative for your mental health.
According to Psychology Today, when you’re so socially obliging, you stretch yourself thin to please others, which comes with grave consequences. When you say no to someone, it puts you in the driver’s seat of your life, and you’re doing what you genuinely want to do.
Remember, you are the only person you have anything to prove yourself to. Many people don’t say no because they’re afraid they will miss out, but the only thing you will do is burn out and be miserable.
Final Thoughts on Reasons You Don’t Need to Prove Yourself
Did you know that living your life to please others is a form of self-bondage? According to Dr. Susan Biali Haas from Psychology Today, when you people-please, you’re putting their needs and requests ahead of yours. Additionally, she states that you should never give your power away or tower in the face of a bully.
You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone. While you do have some responsibilities to your spouse and children, ultimately, you get to decide what’s best for your life. You don’t have to lie or agree to something you don’t want to do to make someone else happy.
To live a happy life full of contentment, learn to say “no.” It’s time to get back in the driver’s seat and reexamine your life with you in control.