Do you feel stuck in a boring relationship and you need to find ways to reenergize your connection?
Don’t feel bad, as this happens to most people who have been together for any length of time. Thankfully, there are many ways that you can put the spark back in your connection, and you can have fun in the process.
Life is stressful and chaotic at times, and you tend to take things out on those closest to you. How many times have you shut yourself away in the bedroom to recharge your drained batteries? The only problem is you often shut out those who are there to help you through the bad times.
As relationships hit the five, ten, and even 20-year mark, you morph into a stage of comfort. You certainly don’t have the same push to prove yourself as you did when you fell in love. After you’ve sealed the deal, most feel they don’t need to put as much effoFrt into their connection, but nothing could be further from the truth.
Fifteen Ways to Reenergize Your Boring Relationship
If you feel that you’re in a rut and want to change things, you need to be proactive. You’re not going to get anywhere by sitting on the couch and watching TV every night till you fall to sleep, as this will only make things worse.
It will help if you put some actions behind your desire for a closer connection so that you can get back to a place that feels right. Here are fifteen of the best ways that you can reenergize your relationship.
1. Bring Back Date Night to Break Out of a Boring Relationship
Even if you’ve been together for 25 years, you still need to have a date night. Taking a few hours out of your week for the one you love is not too much to ask. Put real effort into this night and plan something fun and exciting to do together.
2. Travel and Experience New Things
Taking weekend trips can really put the excitement back into your relationship. When you’re seeing and exploring new places together, it’s easy to leave the cares of life behind. Reconnecting in new places is a great way to reenergize things, plus it just makes life better when you have something to look forward to.
3. Make Your Partner Your Priority
While you have 101 things that you must do every day, your partner needs to prioritize that list. Make sure that you text when you have a break, or you should call during your lunch hour. Put them high on your list, no matter how chaotic the day.
4. Take Social Media Breaks
When you’re with your special person, put down your phone. Why do so many people not interact with each other because they’re too busy on social media or checking their email and texts? Galena Rhoades is a clinical psychologist who has done studies on this matter.
Based on her studies at the University of Denver, she wrote a book entitled How Facebook Ruined Dating (And Breaking Up Too). She found that social media is ruining couples, and it often causes relationship disillusions. Do you and your partner a favor and turn off the phone and connect.
5. Make Sacrifices For One Another
Sometimes relationships take real sacrifice to make things work. While you may not like pizza for dinner, but you know it’s your partner’s favorite food, then you should give in occasionally.
You must learn the fine art of compromise if you’re going to stay together for the long haul. Life can’t be all about what you want all the time anyway. When you commit to someone, you must learn about give and take, and this equation needs to be 50/50.
6. Say “I Love You” More Often
When’s the last time you told your partner you loved them? It seems so effortless to say when you first start dating, but many don’t feel the need to say it as often over time. You probably think that they already know your feelings, so why do you have to keep telling them?
However, you must tell the person you love how you feel, and you should do this at least once a day.
7. Spend Time Apart
As much as you love to be together, it’s also healthy to spend time apart. It’s okay to have time with your friends or family so that you have something to come home and talk to your partner about. The old saying that absence makes the heart grow fonder is undoubtedly based on truth.
8. Argue Less and Listen More
It’s common to get into a pattern of arguing and grumbling at each other, especially after you’ve had a long day. The next time you feel yourself starting to get angry, and you begin to say things out of the moment’s frustration, stop and listen more than you speak.
You will be surprised how much your relationship changes when you listen more and argue less. Plus, if you have children, you don’t want them to hear you quarrel as it makes them uncomfortable.
9. Appreciate the Little Things
Does your partner make your coffee every day before you go to work? Do they pack your lunch and tell you to have a nice day? When is the last time you told them thank you and appreciated those little gestures they don’t have to do?
Take time to do small things to show your partner how much you care, and make sure that you thank them when they do something nice for you.
10. Laugh Together (Humor Can Lighten Up a Boring Relationship)
When is the last time you had a good laugh together? Life can’t be serious all the time. You need to lighten up and find something that makes you both chuckle.
Did you know that when you have a good belly laugh, you’re releasing oxytocin? According to the National Library of Medicine, this hormone will lift your mood and make you feel better. Laughing really is good medicine for the soul.
11. Have a Meaningful Conversation
Having a good conversation is part of communication, which is one of the foundations of any relationship. Ensure that you talk about more than the weather or what time the kids need to be at their game. It would help if you had a conversation that is meaningful, deep, and about your lives.
12. Remember Physical Touch
Physical touch is so important. When you hug someone, hold their hand, or put your arm around them, you’re telling them how much you care without opening your mouth. Plus, hugging for around 20 seconds can also get your feel-good hormones pumping, says an article in the National Library of Medicine.
13. Try A Fun Class Together
If you’re in a rut and need to reenergize, why not try something unique like a cooking class, pick up a new hobby, or even ax throwing? There are so many things out there for you to do, but many people don’t use their adventurous side to explore things.
Sure, you’re tired after a long day of work and all your responsibilities, but why not put some effort into making your relationship better by having new experiences.
14. Dream Together
Never, ever stop dreaming together. What are your goals, plans, and visions for the future? Take time to talk about all the things you want to accomplish in one year, five, ten, and twenty.
Get a pen and paper and make a bucket list of things you want to do solo in your career and together with your partner. Dreaming together is one reason you fell in love, and it can be the thing that helps you reenergize your relationship.
15. Write Love Letters
Do you still write love letters, give cards, or put sticky notes on the bathroom mirror with lovely messages? This is one of those little things that you can do that has such a huge impact. You’re telling this person that they’re on your mind, and they’re so vital to you that you had to say it.
The key is not to overdo it as it can seem forced or not genuine, but an occasional note left on the bathroom mirror can do wonders for a boring relationship phase.
Final Thoughts on Reversing a Boring Relationship
Before you head to a counselor and try to fix what appears wrong in your relationship, you need to realize that all unions go through dry spells. It’s completely normal to feel like you’re in a rut and need to reenergize things. The key is that you fix things, or you may be one of the many couples that don’t make it for the long haul.
Additionally, sometimes things are beyond repair, and it’s not worth putting the time or effort into fixing it. In these instances, you need to learn when it’s time to let go for the sake of your sanity.
Thankfully, most people find that dry spells are part of the ups and downs of being together. When you’re in these periods, you must tell yourself that things will get better and then take steps to make it happen.