Everyone has specific criteria they desire in a partner, so you raise your standards in the search.
Some have a mental checklist that they keep ensuring that they check all the boxes. However, if you can’t find someone that lives up to your expectations, you may lower your standards.
Finding love is difficult, but are your standards so high that you’re looking for someone that only exists in fairy tales or your dreams? Have you ever heard that if you don’t stand for something that you will fall for anything?
Well, don’t fall for just anybody. You want to make sure you’re with the right person. Though it’s tempting to lower your requirements to keep from being alone, you need to keep your standards high for your protection.
Remember, there’s only one thing worse than being single, and that’s when you’re with the wrong partner. The wrong guy or girl can make your life miserable. Even the good ones take work and can still drive you mad at times.
Fifteen Ways to Raise Your Standards
It sounds strange to hear someone say that you need to raise your standards. You must safeguard your heart, as once it’s broken, it takes a long time to mend. You can’t just give your heart away to anyone that checks boxes on your proverbial list.
Additionally, you cannot lower morals or beliefs to find someone who looks good on your arm. Here are fifteen ways to evaluate your standards and help you keep them high.
1. Determine What’s Most Important to You
Determine the things that you absolutely want to have in a partner. Do you like someone with a bubbly personality or a person who is quiet and meek?
Determine what values and lifestyle you want and choose someone that is a good match for your personality. Set your boundaries, and don’t deviate from them.
2. Never Be Swayed by Outside Influences
If you’re single far beyond the expected time frame, then your friends and family members feel they must help you. You will be badgered and encouraged to date people from all walks of life.
They may even persuade you to stop being so picky. However, you don’t have to listen to them. It’s tempting to buy into the loneliness and drop your criteria, but you don’t have to settle.
3. Use A Relationship Coach
It sounds like a bizarre job title, but a relationship coach can help you determine what qualities to look for in a mate. While you may be attracted to the “bad boy,” what you need is someone grounded and stable. These folks can help you put your goals in writing.
4. Keep Your Standards Purposeful
It’s okay if you have a vivid picture of what your perfect partner looks like. You want someone who will enhance your life and not destroy it. Some good standards to have for a spouse are things like the following traits, according to your needs:
While these are all great qualities to have, you shouldn’t turn down someone just because they miss a couple of the marks. If they check most of the boxes, give them a chance.
5. Know Your Worth
Before you can love anyone else, you must first love yourself. You need to know your true worth. Don’t think dollars and cents, and don’t ever settle for anyone who treats you “less than” or brings you to a level that is beneath you.
6. Embrace The Person You Are
You’re a human being that has been made uniquely. There will never be another person quite like you. You don’t have to settle for someone with significant flaws when those times of desperation come.
Embrace who and what you are, and know that you’re valuable to your family, friends, and self.
7. Don’t Ignore Warning Signs
When you start into a relationship, you will often see red flags along the way. Some of these precursors are more ominous than others. However, when you see things that don’t sit well with you, it’s time to raise your standards, not lower them.
If someone lies or misrepresents themselves to you, it doesn’t take long for their true colors to come shining through. Sure, it’s challenging to start over from scratch, but it’s much better than living in misery.
8. Believe In Yourself
It’s okay to pat yourself on the back and be proud of who you’re in life. You can hold your head high and walk down the street knowing you’re the best person you can be. When it comes to the dating world, it’s okay to hype yourself up a bit.
Your strong, intelligent, beautiful/handsome, and it’s time you start believing it. Each morning when you get out of bed, try reciting positive affirmations that help you believe in yourself.
According to BestSelf Co, those who use positive affirmations have a better outlook on life. Nothing makes you more attractive to potential suitors than a good attitude.
9. Let The Past Guide You
Rather than wallowing in the disappointments of the past, use these life lessons as steppingstones. You’re not the same person you were a month ago, a year ago, or ten years ago. Life changes in the blink of an eye, and rather than using your past as a jail sentence, allow it to mold you into a better person for the future.
10. Learn Patience
While patience is a great virtue to have, it does not come easily. The reason why so many people end up in bad relationships is that they rush. When you raise your standards, it means you wait patiently until the perfect person comes your way.
Sure, it’s hard to sit on the sidelines while your friends get married and start families, but patience tells you that your day will come. The timing must be correct.
11. Never Give Up Hope
If you don’t have a vision, then you’ll perish. Those who don’t dream will die inside. It would help if you had hope, faith, and belief that good things can and will happen to you.
Have you ever seen someone get sick and give up their will to live? What happens to this person? Once their will to live is gone, they pass from this life.
12. Take Care of Your Appearance
Self-care is essential to being desirable to others. Raise your standards not only in your actions but also in your appearance. Get that new dress, spring for a fancy haircut, and don’t be afraid to buy that designer fragrance.
It’s time you take care of your needs first. When you take care of yourself, others can’t help but notice. It will make you way more attractive than someone who puts little thought into their appearance.
13. Don’t Compromise Your Beliefs
A desperate person will stoop to unthinkable levels to get what they want. Some people become so desperate for someone to love them that they will be with an individual who isn’t suited for them. Take, for instance, a girl that falls in love with someone she knows who uses illegal drugs.
Sure, the love and support they give them feel so good at that moment, but she has no idea the life of torment she’s in for with this individual. Nothing good ever comes on compromising your beliefs and values to find love.
14. Be Honest with Yourself and Them
You don’t believe in lying, and you’ve always been known for telling the truth. However, it’s easy to embellish your attributes a bit. The world of internet dating has opened the door for people to be dishonest.
A study was done by The Independent in the United Kingdom found that seven percent of all messages sent on dating apps were dishonest. It’s tempting, but be yourself, even if you’re hiding behind a computer or smartphone screen.
15. Be Kind
You want to show your best self when dating anyone. Raise your standards to showcase your attributes. It’s easy to play mind games and even dominate the situation, but you want to give this person the same respect you deserve.
You don’t want to appear insecure or cruel, so never talk bad or gossip about others, and treat the person you’re with well. Even if it’s the first date and you don’t want there to be a second one, enjoy the time you’re spending with them.
Just because they’re not “the one” for you doesn’t mean that they deserve anything less than your kindness and consideration.
Final Thoughts on Raising Your Standards
Many people who’ve been hurt badly raise their standards to superior levels. The goal is to avoid being hurt again. However, you take a chance each time you get involved with someone, but it’s a chance worth taking.
To find a great relationship, you must be opened to receiving it. There are amazing people out there that can click with you and be your other half, but you first must know your self-worth and that you deserve that kind of love. Change your outlook, keep your standards high, and you will find the one your soul longs for.