Is it a crush, or have you made a love connection? It may be hard for you to identify between the two, especially if it’s something new and exciting. However, you must realize significant differences between having a crush and being in love.
A crush is nothing more than a temporary infatuation based on a solid attraction, usually physical in nature. On the other hand, love is something deeper that’s affectionate and comes with prolonged-lasting feelings. A crush shakes you up and has your heart and mind in an uproar, while true love is grounded and gives you a sense of inner calm.
Is It a Love Connection or a Crush?
Are you experiencing a love connection, or is your affection based on nothing more than a crush? Here are some ways to tell the difference between love and infatuation, and some of them might surprise you.
1. Love is Based on Something Deeper Than Physical Attraction
Crushes mostly happen because of an intense physical connection with someone. However, you have a much deeper bond when you fall in love. An emotional connection rarely fuels crushes, but love goes beyond physical attributes and is based on a connection.
When you have a love connection, you’re into more than just their body, as you’re also interested in their mind and overall wellbeing.
2. Crushes Only Last for a Short Time
The timeline is something that you can notate. According to research, most crushes don’t last beyond four months, so they’re very short-lived. However, love takes a while to develop and sometimes a lifetime to get over.
Crushes bring about feelings like a racing pulse, melting when you look in their eyes or being addicted to that person. You might feel giddy like a schoolgirl when you’re fascinated with someone, but this doesn’t usually happen when you’re in love.
3. Love Will Invigorate You
A crush will pull you in 100 different directions, so it’s easy to become both physically and mentally exhausted. You will experience intense emotions and be whipped around all over the place. However, a genuine love connection won’t do that to you.
Love will bring you energy and fulfillment. Besides that, it gives you a little push to make it one more day. It will put fuel in your tank, giving you the power to keep trying.
4. Crushes Happen Quickly and End Quickly
It’s impossible to meet someone and fall in love with them. While some folks say they’ve experienced love at first sight, it’s almost impossible to love someone without knowing them truly. An infatuated person will obsess over their unattainable desires while in love, take things slower, and develop a more incredible bond each day.
Think of love like a flower in life’s garden that takes time to grow. You can’t plant a seed one day and have a flower the next, as it needs time to mature and develop, and this is how love works.
5. Crushes are Unpredictable
Falling in love makes you become a better version of yourself, but if you’re experiencing a crush, you may become a more intense version. It’s not uncommon for people to act abnormally when they’re crushing hard on someone. Love is different, though, as it gives you peace and reassurance that the future is bright and everything is as it was intended to be.
6. Crushes are Based on False Perceptions
When you have a crush on someone, you don’t have a reasonable basis for your feelings. This is because the emotions are surface and very shallow.
You may try to convince yourself that you’re in love, but people who crush hard only look for physical manifestations. Love, however, is profound, more genuine, and may or may not have physical expressions.
7. Love is Soothing and Doesn’t Cause Emotional Upheaval
Having a crush on someone is like riding a roller coaster with many loops and intense speed. The key is that these infatuations are often short-lived, and they tend to go away as quickly as they came. However, when you’re feeling these intense feelings, you’re probably also experiencing a whirlwind of emotions.
Love, on the other hand, calms you and brings you comfort. These feelings are on the opposite ends of the spectrum, and you can always tell when it is love because it brings you a sense of serenity.
8. Crushes Are Selfish
Did you know that many crushes are not reciprocated? Nothing hurts worse than wanting someone so badly only to find out they don’t feel the same. Dr. Carl E. Pickhardt from Psychology Today states that crushes are more about fantasy than reality.
They’re the perfect mix of idealization and infatuation. There’s no bright future with fixation, but love is the one that brings hope and is shared.
9. Crushes are Possessive and Devour You
Crushes can be selfish, as it tends to possess and devour every part of you. You’ll often feel stuck in a loop on a merry-go-round, but you’re so overwhelmed that you don’t know how to get off. Love is nothing like this, as it doesn’t possess you but brings you peacefulness.
10. Crushes are Merely Temporary Fixes
Throughout your life, you will likely have many crushes. However, you will only have a couple of people you can say you truly loved. When you fall head over heels into a crush, you’re just giving a temporary fix to your need for romance and intrigue.
Love is the opposite because people who fall in love often care about each other for life. This is why many people can remain friends long after the breakup, as the friendship never dies.
11. Love Causes Growth
Falling in love brings you the opportunity for growth, but crushes don’t give you the same sense of maturity and in-depth knowledge. Sure, there’s affection with both types of situations, but the person in love will always have someone that makes them a better human being. The couple in love has a bright future, whereas the crush will fizzle out like a candle in the wind.
12. Crushes Cause Emotional Upset
Have you noticed that you tend to make a big deal over the smallest of things when you have a crush? Even the slightest upset can rattle your cage. However, love is more patient and tends to look at the big picture.
When you’re with the right person, and the feelings are where they should be, you realize that life is full of small stuff that’s sent to test you. However, you embrace these moments and move on.
13. Crushes Happen All in the Head
Since most crushes aren’t reciprocated, everything happens in the head or on an emotional level. However, true love is genuine and can be seen, felt, and experienced in real-time. A crush will isolate you, but love will want to be shared and embraced.
14. Crushes Play Mind Games
Why do people who have a crush often have more questions than answers? For instance, remember the old game where you take a flower and pull the petals while asking, “He loves me, he loves me not?” A person with a crush might feel confused and have many questions, as the connection with the other party is not stable, and they have doubts.
Thankfully, love isn’t like this at all. See, all the questions you ask yourself repeatedly to figure out if this person likes you doesn’t happen when you’re in love. When there’s true love between two people, they know, and there’s no need for useless inquiries.
15. Love Grows from An Emotional Bond
The basis for love and a crush is as diverse as an ocean is from a lake. Crushes grow from desires, usually physically based. However, love is cultivated from a deep emotional bond between two people.
Mad infatuation wants to make you jump in bed and fill your physical desires, but love is more about the emotional and intellectual bond. Sure, there’s a physical connection too, but it doesn’t take top precedence.
Final Thoughts on Love Connection or a Crush?
Did you learn anything that helps you decipher if you’re in love or just having a crush? Maybe you looked through this list and replayed events of your younger days in your mind. You recall how you felt and acted when infatuated with someone in high school or college.
Crushes only take a small chunk out of your life, but they’re almost always unhealthy. The sad thing is that they will never live up to your expectations either. Love isn’t perfect, but it knows that you don’t have to be either.
When you have a genuine love connection, you know that you will keep trying even though it’s messy, weird, and far from perfection. The crush will fade away just as quickly as it happened, but true love isn’t so easy to escape, and therein lies the most significant difference between the two.